Funny Bible Riddles

We’ve studied religiously and come up with these funny Bible riddles for you (with answers, of course).

Just how well do you know the Bible?

Find out now. Good luck!

A collection of funny bible riddles to challenge your brain

Who was the smartest man in the Bible?

Abraham. He knew a Lot.

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.

Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?

Ruth-less.

Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?

Because Noah was standing on the deck.

Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?

Nebuchadnezzar. He was on grass for seven years.

What do they call pastors in Germany?

German Shepherds.

What kind of car did Jehovah drive?

A Fury. He drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.

And what car did David drive?

David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.

Which Biblical character had no parents?

Joshua, son of Nun.

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

Samson. He brought the house down.

According to the Bible should men or women make coffee?

There’s a whole book about it – He Brews.

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the Big Inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second, Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?

They were really put out.

Where is the first mention of insurance in the Bible?

When Adam and Eve needed more coverage.

What is one of the first thing that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?

They really raised Cain.

Who is the shortest man mentioned in the Bible?

Bildad the Shuhite.

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

Your mother ate us out of house and home.

How many of each animal did Moses take on the Ark?

None, it was Noah.

How long did Cain hate his brother?

As long as he was Abel.

Why didn’t Jonah trust the ocean?

He knew there was something fishy about it.

What was the last thing Noah said before he entered the Ark?

So long Fellers!

Did Eve ever have a date with Adam?

No, just an apple.

The ark was built in 3 stories and the top story had a window to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom two stories?

They used floodlights.

Where was Solomon’s temple located?

On the side of his head.

After the flood, how many people left the ark ahead of Noah?

Three. Because the Bible says that Noah went forth out of the ark.

When was the first tennis match in the Bible?

When Joseph served in Pharoah’s court.

Where is the first mention of insurance in the Bible?

When Adam and Eve needed more coverage.

Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?

David, he rocked Goliath to sleep.

What did Adam say the night before Christmas?

It’s Christmas, Eve.

Why won’t we drink milk in the new world?

Because, at Armageddon, there will be udder destruction.

How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?

By his net income.

Why shouldn’t Christians watch TV?

At the transfiguration, Jesus said, “Tell the vision to no one.”

Who was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

Who was the fastest runner in the Bible?

Adam. He was first in the human race.

Who was the best mathematician in the Bible?

Moses. He wrote the book of Numbers.

Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?

The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Why do they say “Amen” at the end of a prayer instead of  “Awomen”?

The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

Who was the straightest man in the bible?

Joseph, because the Pharaoh made him a ruler.

Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

Even then men wouldn’t ask for directions.

Hilarious Bible Riddles

If you enjoyed these funny Bible riddles, be sure to have a go at the rest of our riddles and brainteasers too, including these:

A selection of what am I riddles
A collection of easy riddles for kids of all ages
A collection of really tricky riddles to tease your brain
Festive fun - a collection of Christmas riddles for kids
A selection of really hard riddles to tease the brain!
Are you a math wiz? Test yourself with these fiendishly difficult math riddles and see just how clever you are.
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